Some Kind Of Hope

The first issue of Owed Nothing is now up online for sale at: owednothing.bigcartel.com

These will also be available at our merch table this summer at the Vans Warped Tour.

Thanks everyone,

J.B.

I believe that we has humans living in the western society that we live in, have a very tough time discerning knowledge from wisdom. We are living in a time where our knowledge and technologies are so vast, yet when it comes to apply simple wisdom to our lives or dare I say the world that we all share, we are left scratching our heads like fucking idiots. This leaves me dumbfounded. How can this be? How can we know the things that we know yet still be so unwise? Now, I don’t want to say I have any answers because that would imply for you to follow me, but I do have a theory. I feel that our lack of wisdom applied to our lives is based solely on our minds and the apathy that rules us.

For those of us who have a little bit tougher time understanding things than others, like me (seriously. In high school, I took classes with names like “Reading Improvement” and so on), I have come up with this simple analogy to further help us make the distinction between knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge is knowing you need to stop at a red light. Wisdom is stopping. Knowledge is simply taking in information where as wisdom is applying said information correctly to your life. People believe that you can read a million books and be the smartest person in the world. That may be true but just as there is an enormous difference between knowledge and wisdom, there is a difference between being smart and being intelligent.

These are distinctions that we need to start making and we need to start making them fast. When I hear the term “old wise man”, my mind can’t help but think that of course people who are old are wise. They lived their entire lives the wrong way and now that they look back they are all sobered up. Seeing all the things they should have done. I know that that is pretty stupid for me to think being as it is a huge generalization, but it’s not entirely false.

As they say, hind sight is always 20/20.

What this world needs are young wise people. People are who are prepared to be wrong and willing to learn. People who don’t bow or salute but have conviction and cooperation with their communities that are like, but even more so, unalike. People who are tired of being afraid and people who tired of just taking someone’s word for it. People who see the value of taking the long way. People like you. You are probably thinking that this is nothing like you and you may be right but there is something very important you need to recognize right now. Everything ever lives inside of you. You have the ability to be the next Adolf Hitler and you have the ability to be the person I am describing here. The question is: which will you wake up?

Quit letting your apathy rule your life.

An apathetic lion is a dead lion, just as an apathetic man is a dead man.

Be great and pack light.

-J.B.

If you would like this post in print, it will be in my first issue of “Owed Nothing” available in 2 weeks.
Thank you

For as much time as I’ve spent at airports in these past touring years of my life, there are still new things that I notice every time I’m at one. I know for a lot of people the airport can be a high stress area but I use the alone time to do some reflecting and observing. What I love about the airport is the fact that it is like a scaled down version of the world and its society. There are all different kinds of people speaking different languages all with different attitudes. If you don’t pay close enough attention all you will see are the loud, impatient, stressed out people who are freaking out because they have to take their shoes off for the security check or even something smaller like just waiting in line. I can’t even tell you how many times I heard “Jesus fucking Christ this is bullshit!!” Or “what the fuck! These people don’t know what they’re doing!”. However, if you are observant you will notice those who show incredible patience, kindness and compassion. These are the things I’m looking for. I can see some douche get pissed about god knows what anywhere. But I have my eye out for the single mother traveling with her two INSANE boys, who, like a saint, remains calm while waiting in a very long and very cramped line. Even allowing others to go ahead of her.

You see, it’s really starting to seem like, in human behavior, you can’t have one without the other. Like hot and cold, day and night, heaven and hell (for my Christian readers), batman and joker (for my much cooler secular readers). One must exist so that the other may exist. This is a little mind numbing, I know. For someone like me, I have believed for a very long time that the goal of the human race was to create this utopian like place where we don’t kill and torture animals and we don’t kill and torture each other and we all live peacefully and blah blah blah. However, it’s starting to seem like the very behavior that I am against may need to exist so that the behavior I strive for may also exist.

Now, if this is true, you now may be asking your self, “ok…then what’s the point of being a good person?”. And to this question I can answer with a sincere and deep joy in my soul. You must be a good person so that the selfish, impatient, cowardly, etc, behaviors can be subsided. Even if it is just for a little. Because when those attitudes and behaviors are subsided, we can make progress. Even if just a little. A step in the right direction is exactly that. A step in the right direction. No matter how small the step is.

The essence of your soul is begging to be let out. However, our false egos are trying to keep it trapped. You think you have to tear down everyone around you to get what you want because you have been taught an incredibly horrible way of thinking. That you must take or be taken. Kill or be killed. This is just our false ego telling you this and if you feed your ego that, you are killing your mind with poisonous behavior.

To live life without judgement is to live a life of true success.

Almost all our of shitty opinions are based off of second hand information. Think for yourself. Small minds gossip and judge others. True and courageous minds face and judge themselves.

Don’t have a small mind.

To Sophie,

There is still some dog shit I forgot to pick upon the back yard. Sorry

I love you.

Much love everyone and until next time.

Your friend,

JB

Woah! Look at us. Managed to make it through this year’s apocalypse and on to yet another year of human existence. Great job everyone. Having said that I’m sure that, like me, you have started making your list of what you are gonna do differently this upcoming year. Or maybe you haven’t. Who knows what you freaks do in your spare time? Kidding. Regardless, I’m sure , like me, the act of actually making this list is easier and let’s be honest, more fun than actually completing the list. Why is this? Wishful thinking? Perhaps.

It’s no secret that almost everyone on earth makes these lists wether public or private, mental or in ink. Personally I think it’s great. It’s a very good starting point. To expect more out of ourselves is incredibly healthy and in most cases very brave. However these things tend to fall apart. Trust me, I know. As Chris, STYG’s stage left guitar player, calls me, I’m known as ‘Half Job Bob’. Meaning I tend to start things and then because of my short attention span aka laziness or boredom for lack of a better word, I move on to another project. To give an example and as embarrassing as this is to admit I was once reading four books at once. I would read one chapter of one book and then read another chapter of the other and so on and so forth. Needless to say I stopped reading all of them. To my credit I did end up finishing all of them but in a manner in which took much longer than I had anticipated or had wanted.

I’ll stop the rambling there and get on to what conclusion I have come to about all of this. What we need is to have is a ‘New Years Revolution’ instead of the same ol’ resolutions. We need to dig down deep and find what drives us and push that pedal to the fucking floor. Get passionate about something. Make this year about things you can enjoy instead of things you think you should be doing. However, let me make something clear. I would rather eat donuts all day instead of working out but I know that deep down I truly want to be a healthy and positive member of our fucked up society. Eating donuts isn’t going very deep. Dig as deep as you can possibly go and flip that ‘fuck you switch’ that makes us humans great. Be amazed by life. Be grateful. Be passionate. Be thoughtful and giving. Be understanding. Be great. Just BE. I haven’t lived my entire life yet but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t just get easier. The resetting of a calendar doesn’t mean that this years obstacles will go easy on you. Expect them to be hard but be prepared. Learn to adapt to whatever situation hits you.

In Buddhism they say that most of the world has a strong front but a soft back and that we all must learn to have a soft front and a strong back. I truly believe in this way of thinking. No I’m not a fucking Buddhist but I believe in a lot of Buddhist views.

So with all of that being said, face 2013 with a soft front and learn to have a strong back. Don’t scare so easily and take chances. Fail and learn. Learn to love something other than yourself and learn to hate something other than everything, like nothing. I’m excited for myself and I’m excited for all of you. Hope to see you little freaks soon.

2013 = Year of the Dive. So Dive hard mother fuckers.

Love you all,

J.B.

It’s 8:49am and I’m sitting at a McCafe in the frankfurt airport, drinking some coffee and watching a sailboat or catamaran race on the tv. Honestly I know little to almost nothing about sailboats or catamarans so please excuse my ignorance on the subject. However, maybe this is why I’m so taken by it. Regardless, this is incredibly beautiful to watch. I can’t believe how fast they are going and I can’t believe how they make this enormous thing move so swiftly through the water like its some child’s toy. It’s either my lack of sleep, Benadryl or a mixture of both but this is blowing my mind. Here, in a fucking mcdonalds, im reminded of the amazing talents and beauty of people. The things that people can do is absolutely astonishing. The limits they push themselves to and the boundaries that people break fills my soul with happiness. In Paris I remember watching a video of a man who took a balloon into the earths atmosphere then jumped and parachuted back down to earth. What. The. Fuck. If you can live with seeing these things around you and not have a heart attack from the awesomeness of people then I feel sorry for you.

The art, music, books, technology, medicine and everything in between that the brave few of this world contribute makes life worth living. The incredible lengths people are ready and willing to go regardless of what others tell them they can and can not do, needs to be treasured. It needs to be celebrated. It needs to be encouraged and we need to support it.

It’s cowards who draw a line and its the brave who cross it.

So to sum this up, if you can see all of these beautiful things in the world and still remain unsatisfied then I believe it’s time you have a little self reflection because the hard truth may be that it’s you that is the problem. If you are walking through your life and can’t enjoy ‘the amazing’, then it’s you who will never allow yourself to do something amazing. If you are unhappy, you can run all over the world trying to find a place to make you happy but all you will accomplish is bringing your misery to other places.

But,
If you can find awe in others then you will find awe in yourself.

Allow yourself the time to be amazed.

Love you all,

J.B.

Before I begin this I want to tell you this. Relax. Just relax. What I’m about to say is just my opinion so before you fill your diaper just remember these are just the thoughts of one person. I understand that this is a touchy subject but please, just calm the fuck down.

Now, when I tell people that I’m not voting, a common reaction I get is, “how do you not care about America’s future!?” Or “how can you be so apathetic???!”. Please understand that the choice I make in not voting has absolutely nothing to do with apathy. My choice is as deliberate as you going and voting for some rich dude who will always know what it’s like to be rich. “BUT OBAMA GREW UP POOR!!!!!”. Whether that is true or not, he worked hard to be where he is now and I respect that but let’s face it, he’s just another filthy rich politician. To me, Politics are just a game and just like hockey or football, the goal is to win. That’s why they are constantly changing what they “believe in” or what they “stand for”. They just go where ever the popular vote is. It has nothing to do with what is right or wrong. They just want to win. I also believe that four or even 8 years isn’t long enough for any ONE PERSON to get this country out of the gutter and it shouldn’t just rely on one person. The fact is no matter who I vote for there’s still a woman down the street who has to go to work covering her bruises. There’s still a child who lives in a private hell because of a pervert uncle. There is still a man who put his life on the line to “protect” our country who is living in the cold streets. There are still two men or women who are happy and in love who can’t get married. These are the things I’m concerned about.

“BUT OBAMA HAS DONE SO MUCH FOR THE GAY COMMUNITY!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Ya that’s true and that is incredible. But voting for the rights of a group of people isn’t something that I want to take part in because I don’t believe that’s where the actual problem lies. The problem isn’t whether gay people are allowed to get married or not, the problem is that there are people who are so uneducated and ignorant that they actual vote against people to have the same basic right as everyone else. The problem lies in homophobia and the religions that teach that homosexuals are wrong. It’s not marriage that’s the problem, it’s the things people believe. We need to LIVE our lives in a way that is good and that is just. If someone says “faggots shouldn’t be allowed to get married!” And you think the problem is that they think gay people shouldn’t get married then I think you need to rethink a few things. Sure I think gay people should be allowed to right to participate in marriage but I’m more interested in fighting the root cause of homophobia, and I can do that by living my life in a way that may help others see things in a different light. Lead by example.

The point that I’m trying to make is instead on voting for someone to represent you why don’t you stand up and represent yourself? Why don’t you say “this is what I believe and this is the way I chose to live my life”?

Politics to me are just like religion. They spend all this money on campaigns and bull shit just like religions and their shrines of gold. Instead they should be feeding people. They should be helping people who are living in the streets. I know people are going to say well you can vote for those things!!! Nah, I’d rather just do my part instead of expecting someone to do it for me. To me going to a voting booth would be a waste of time that I could spend on doing actual good.

Bottom line is, I don’t have a side so I don’t give a fuck who wins or loses and I look at that as an advantage. Im sure both candidates have good things and bad things about them. I’m sure of this because they are human, just like everyone else. Sit an look at the world and you’ll find plenty wrong with it. But don’t go and choose this guy or that guy and pat yourself on the back like you’ve done good. No matter who is in office my life will remain the same and I will use my amazing life to help others. That is why we are here. That is our purpose. Not god nor president will steer me from the path I have chosen. If I want to see change then I have to make it.

So after those of you who chose to go vote, go volunteer your time at a group home or animal shelter. Go feed someone. Hold the door for someone. Continue to do your part.

I love you all and if you haven’t seen looper yet, go see it. It was siiiiick.

JB

To whom it may concern,

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for the way I have conducted myself. I’m sorry for not taking responsibility for myself nor the ones who surround me. I have taken but rarely given. I have spoken but rarely listened. I have allowed myself to think that the only good there is, is the good of myself. I have allowed opinions to fog my vision and convictions to harden my heart. Worst of all, I have justified this behavior simply because I have been wronged. I have been hurt. But today I am starting over. As sure as the earth circles the sun, today I am new. I am reborn within myself but do not get it twisted. I do not bow to the sky but I lay down willingly for you, as it has not been done for me. I am vital to the pulse of humanity and their strength is mine, just as mine is theirs. So to whom it may concern, I am important and I realize this now.

Thank you for not giving up on me.

At the very least, sincerely yours,

Your Children

So after the horribleness that happened at the movie theatre in Colorado and the shooting at the Sikh temple in Wisconsin, I felt like I needed to write something to let off a little steam. My brain is a mess and lately I have been feeling uninspired. What is happening? I truly believe in my heart of hearts that what is going on in the world is a direct projection of what is happening inside of me. After thinking about it deeply and sincerely I have come to a conclusion. I’m not taking responsibility for my actions, my fellow man and the world that wholly surrounds me. I have allowed myself to actually think that I am separate from everything. This is a self tragedy.

What is it to be human? We are at the top of the food chain and we are there because of one certain aspect that separates us from the rest of the non human world. Our minds. We have the ability to act based on rational thought. However I don’t think this is something that we do often. We tend live with walls built around us that cut us off from other humans and non humans. We believe that if a young man goes into a movie theatre and does the unspeakable things like what happened in Colorado, that it has nothing to do with us. In reality it has everything to do with us.

What have we come to as a people where we can make someone feel so desperate that he or she feels that the only answer is to kill? Instead of truly going into these questions we would rather label the world as something to be ashamed of and lock ourselves in our houses. No solution can ever come if we don’t recognize the problem that is so plainly there to see in front of us.

I was very inspired when I heard a leader of Sikh community saying that they are in mourning for the people who were killed in the temple but they were also in mourning and praying for the shooter. It is this kind of tender hearted and open minded thought and reflection that makes us good. I see everyday, vengeance and spite pumping through our veins. I’m a guilty mother fucker when it comes to this but at least I try to recognize it.

We have no one to blame or fear besides the person in the mirror.

I can promise you that if you can live your life loving everything and everyone that you will find a satisfaction that will cure the world of all of the terrible things that happen. If you can actually take responsibility for every murder, suicide, hungry and thirsty mouth, etc, then the world will start changing for the better right before your eyes. Realize that you are not separate.

Don’t be so concerned with what someone else is doing but recognize the fact that they can do anything that they want and love them for it even if you disagree.

“beyond all ideas of right and wrong, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”
-Rumi

At the very least, sincerely,

J.B.

True Love

The things ive seen
Oh, you wouldnt believe it even if i told you.
Its enough to break the worlds silence and make all mothers of drunken children cry panic.
one too many times. coming and going. coming and going. coming and going.
coming and drowning.
upset me. please.
ive never needed anything more in my life.
Set the fires of holy light and see me into chaos.
i am a vulture for empty things and a flood for something beautiful.
no.
it cant be me
it must be you.
fucking frozen wasteland.
im addicted to your tongue and your smile speaks poetry.
waist deep. wading through pools of stagnant love, stepping slow.
i hope this is just life and not something more.
the things ive seen. you havent seen the things ive seen.
you’re the fake and im true blue and you, you are as dead as the day is born
but dont worry this is just life. its not something more.

Like most 24 year olds I know, I can sometimes have this sense of entitlement. Like I know what life is all about. A “I’ve seen some shit so don’t lecture me” attitude. It’s easy for us young idiots to get caught up in that whirlwind way of thinking. But it’s when I meet people like Richard and Sandy Perkins that it really makes me see me for what I am and who I need to be.

For those of you who don’t know, Sam Perkins (pictured above) was a young man who recently lost his life to a brain tumor. We dedicated our against them all video to him as well as went to Arizona (where he was from) and played a show in his benefit. Now, I didn’t know Sam much at all. All I really knew about his personal life was from a phone call that I had with him while he was in the hospital. He was telling me how sorry he was that he couldn’t make our show and telling me about his condition. This kid had heart.

When Sam passed, it hit his family, friends, and the Phoenix/Mesa hardcore and metalcore scene pretty hard. When we went to Arizona to play the show for him, the draw was overwhelming. It was a sold out show and everyone was there for Sam. I can tell you right now that I have never met anyone that was unremarkable or mediocre that has had the impact that Sam had on his friends. This tells me that he the type of kid who this band looks up to. Someone who is caring and compassionate. A hopebringer.

This must run in the family. Like I was saying before, sometimes I can walk around and act like I have life figured out. The fact of the matter is that I don’t know shit. I don’t know what it’s like to have a brain tumor. I don’t know what it’s like to know that my days are numbered. I don’t know what its like to be a parent. and lastly, I can’t even imagine what it’s like to have to bury your son. I have met a lot of people who have lost loved ones and have just given up. Checked out. To be honest, I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same. Then you get the type of individuals who refuse to do that. People who take something horrible like this and make it positive. People like Richards and Sandy Perkins. Sam’s parents.

I got an email from Richard recently telling me how overwhelmed he was for what we were doing for Sam and for their family. The email moved me so deeply that it made me tear up. Had I not been in public, I would have cried. He told us that STYG, whether we believed it or not, were helping them as well as a lot of others, fight brain cancer. They recently went to Washington DC where they advocated on behalf of the National Brain Tumor Research society, to not cut funding to try to find a cure for the disease that took their son’s life. He told us that he watches the “against them all” video everyday as a source of hope and inspiration and that he has shared with all the countless people who fought to try to save Sam’s life.

Let’s let Sam, his friends, and his parents be a source of inspiration to us all. There will be things that happen in our lives that will seem so fucking unbearable that you even question why you even go on living. But let this remind you that there are people out there who know that pain and who have survived it and everyday continue to survive it. They take it and make it good. Richard and Sandy are fighters. Maybe they weren’t before Sam’s passing, but they sure as shit are now and their strength keeps me strong. Let it keep you strong too.

To our brother Sam, your memory forever remains. Thank you for the impact you left. You are not forgotten.

At Least He Died A Lion

If you would like, please email me a message to Richard and Sandy. I will pass it along to them.

Jessestygxxx@yahoo.com